All Aboard the USS Dipshit
Volcano Suns — Sounds Like Bucks (1986 / College Rock)
Hello internet pals of music. Today we’re liberating ourselves from reality.
“Captain, the radar’s showing a a mass ahead. Could be an iceberg, could be a small island. We’re not certain yet, but we’re sending up a drone, and are trying to echolocate our position.”
“Don’t bother”, dismissed the captain.
“But sir…the mass is starboard and we can easily swing port side and avoid it completely, just need confirmation to redirect course”.
“Yeah, I don’t like it. That’s a weak response. I’m tired of getting ripped off by icebergs, or whatever the hell they are. What the hell are icebergs, anyway? Why don’t they just melt?”, rambled the captain.
“Yeah, I mean, how much are we paying for this? There’s probably 35 people on this ship who don’t need to be here. You, radar guy. What is it that you’re actually doing? Like, you’re getting paid to look at a screen all day? Bloat.”, chimed in the unknown man who had suddenly sprung up over the captain’s right shoulder.
The captain became apoplectic.
“Right. You, radar guy, whatever your name is. You’re out. Gimme those headphones or whatever that is on your head”, the captain grunted.
The mystery man formed a bizarre grin, like someone imagining what a smile would look like and licked his oily thin lips. His bloodshot eyes welled a bit.
The captain tried to put the headset on, but got flustered when he couldn’t get it over his stiff hair, and threw the headset to the ground.
“Damn the torpedos, or whatever. We’ll blow it out of the water! That’ll teach it to mess with us, those things have been so unfair!”
Then the captain did a strange dance, while the thin-lipped man gesticulated with abandon, and they both beamed with sheer stupid pride as the ship’s bow struck the entirely avoidable iceberg.
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Volcano Suns was formed by Mission of Burma’s drummer, Peter Prescott after that band had to call it a day. I’ve recommended both Mission of Burma, and the solo stuff of guitarist Roger Miller, but it was actually Volcano Suns that I heard first. I think All-Night Lotus Party is so great, that I’ve had it on CD (for the work stereo at a video store in the 90s), vinyl (for at home), and Side One on cassette (that I recorded off the radio, between a ethnographic recording of African drumming—can’t place the origin—and the epic Television song Marquee Moon).
The radio. College radio. And this is College Rock. Because no one knew then what else to call all of this great North American independent music.
It sounded like bucks then, and it’s quaint to hear a song mention fat cats and talk about thousand dollar bills.
But, adjusted for inflation, it still sounds like bucks. Lots and lots of them, the kind that are so much that they’re not even real.
Eat the Rich. Forever and ever, amen, hallelelujah.
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Hallelelujah, brother!