Naked Super-Witches of the Rio Amore*
Mazhar Ve Fuat - Adimiz Miskindir Bizim ( 1972 / Turkish Rock )
Hello internet pals of music. Today we’re sitting in front of a SAD lamp while dreaming of a holiday on the Turkish coast with this folky duo.
Ever fed a snake before?
Basing this all on a pair of corn snakes. Corn snakes are thin, have very small heads, and are extremely docile. They need to eat every 7 - 10 days. When they aren’t feeding (which is an exhausting process that requires them to essentially unhinge their jaw, then use all of their body’s muscles to push an entire dead mouse down their long slender chutes to their stomachs), they’re usually sleeping.
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Ever fed a food obsessed cat before? Food obsessed cats are not thin, but still have very small heads (ok, this is about a particular cat), and are extremely lethargic. When they aren’t feeding, they’re usually sleeping, only to be alerted every time you stand up or move toward the kitchen, because that could only mean that you’re going near food and they haven’t eaten in a whole ten minutes, during which they almost died of starvation.
It’s charming, if one can reimagine them (him, dearest particular cat) as a gluttonous little tuxedoed epicurean, bound to eat and drink and smoke his way through Montreal, I’ll take a little of this here, and a bit of that there…
Once did an astrolines reading: what sayeth thou, dear oracle, of my outcome in Montreal?
Gluttony. I’d be the cat. Sauntering here and there, tasting every wine put in front of me, shunning vegetables for every fatty, juicy meat placed before me, and smoking every cigarette available.
But I sorely need a vacation. So I’m imagining one. And because I don’t want to die on my imaginary vacation, I’m imaging one on the Mediterranean coast, as I’ve done since I was a teenager watching strange 80s Eurotrash movies on late night cable. The ones that always take place in a small nameless Mediterranean coastal town and feature naked blonde Germans, possible vampires, mysterious and perverted aristocrats…
But I’m imaging the Mediterranean not for that, but because it seems healthiest. What a diet! Give me the fresh fish (for the oils, good for skin and hair, of which I have both!). I’d eat tomatoes (and I hate tomatoes!). How many different salads can you invent? Maybe a bit of occasional lamb? I’ve been told by Turkish friends how much Turks like to smoke, so I’m not off the hook there, but maybe the sun and sea, and the bubble of my dream vacation where there is no bad euro-club music pumping out of every bar, just folks like Mazhar & Fuat, hanging out on near the beach, playing their songs while I shuffle through the random records I just found in a market stall…Maybe these things might be quite nice right now.
*dir: Jess Franco, starrring Katja Bienert, Ursula Buchfellner. Released in 1981. Not filmed in Turkey, but Spain. Who cares.
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